Undefined

My dearest Momanimal... whereas you were far away for a while I dreamed of you two nights ago. You were alive but already sick and in bed. We knew what was to come. I woke up and was shocked... it felt like starting from scratch, going through all the emotions of your death fast forward early in the morning before having a coffee. I was devastated. Again. The following two days I didn't know what I felt. Now I know:I feel flat. Like super sparkling water that has lost all it's bubbles. The water is ok, as it's just flat water but it used to be very different. Something is missing. HA! What a metaphor.

I missed you terribly today. And I was mad at you for leaving us behind. I so wish for all the memories we should have had with Tonie and all. You being a grandmother, me being a mom. 13 mths were to short. And wtf I am in the middle of my life you are supposed to be here! Sappy smush, sappy smush. I do have to try harder to find our happy ending.

I love you & I miss you.