Distance

My dearest Mom, we survived Christmas, it wasn't as bad as expected. Will tell you later on. By now I understand it's usually the before and after that's tough not the event itself (burial, memorial, Christmas, death). We finally managed to start our winter vacation today. Everything I want to do takes so much longer at the moment.

Just watched "The Lake House". First time I watched the movie I downloaded the soundtrack. It was so quiet and moving, touching something, peaceful still longing, I cannot describe. A kitschy story. But still. I really remember it.

Anyway. I miss you, I love you and it makes me very sad that today and for the past days, I am sometimes thinking of you without the dreadful jolts of pain. This is new. It's a relieve and at the same time I hate it. It means you've stepped into something past. Soon it will be 2013 and it will be a year in which you are not alive. A Million kisses.